Life can be challenging and confusing. Period. But things were especially awkward for me when I hit the age of 13 and it continued on from there for a few good years. As the younger sister of a Homecoming queen and serial pageant winner, I often found myself questioning how “normal” I was as a polar opposite of her. I love her…she to this day is one of my best friends and biggest supporters, but it’s hard sometimes to find your identity when those around you seem to have found theirs so seamlessly.
I was just not “that girl”. I had no remote interest in sparkly ball gowns, makeup, and the like. Instead, I signed up for co-ed soccer and opted for a semi-private performing arts and college-prep high school vs the school I was zoned for. I often got smart-assed comments from people who were supposedly friends. I’ll never forget the time someone once said, “No one cares about your friends or you,” while snickering. And at that time it hurt. But looking at the bigger picture, I now see that person was just extremely insecure with herself to even say something like that.
The positive side to all of it is, while I may have been viewed as “awkward” or “different” to kids back then, I’ve carved out my own lane and created (in my opinion) a path that is much more unique, exciting and interesting life for myself as an adult. Meanwhile, many of the people who teased me back then have fallen into extremely mundane lives. And while that may work for them, it would never have worked for me.
We are all very different beings with different needs, and my not fitting the average mold in my youth has turned out to work in my favor in a variety of ways in my adult life.
So here it is…6 things I wish I’d known as a chubby pre-teen:
- If you stay focused on being the best you and following your dreams, the jerks making fun of you now will most definitely develop and admiration and appreciation for you later in life. Your size will not matter. Who doesn’t look at Oprah, and at the very least, have a great deal of respect for her accomplishments? This has proven to be an ever consistent fact in my life. The people who made school and life miserable for me at times, as adults, now choose to follow my life now on social media. A few have even had the class to apologized for being bullies–which I truly respect. I’m grateful that I can truly say I am living the life I want and having an amazing time! Being true to who you are as you work toward your dreams is the best thing you can do for yourself at any age, shape and or size–lead the life you will love.
- Staying physically active in a summer fitness camp or activity you enjoy is one of the best moves you can make. I strongly attribute attending fitness camp regularly as a pre-teen to a curvaceous shape as an adult no matter what my weight is.
- You may not feel like you fit in now, but there is plenty of time to find yourself and carve your own path. Throughout Jr. High and high school, I often preferred to be in my room alone writing or creating instead of going to parties. While other girls shopped at the “cool” stores, I found myself shopping at stores with just “ok” clothing due to size. I often felt like an oddball. But as you get older, you will find yourself more and with that comes greater confidence in who you are. Your individual sense of style and options will improve. I get better the older I get.
- That thing you just spent weeks crying over…will be water under the bridge and a rare memory. No, seriously! Whether it’s disappointment over losing the school election, finding out some of your friends aren’t friends, or a break up…it honestly will not matter in a few years. I know it feels like the end of the world now. No matter how terrible it seems now, it really just won’t matter much in the grand scheme of things. That simple. Hang in there!
- Being the most popular or the coolest in school, means absolutely nothing in real life as an adult. While a few of the popular kids remain leaders as adults, many don’t. In addition, it is the nerd at school who no one knows or cares about today, who will be inventing the next multi billion dollar idea as an adult. And that is pretty cool!
- Turns out there ARE indeed PLENTY of people in this world who are attracted to thick women (and men)–and actually prefer them. You will grow into your body. You will also find people who appreciate it–and you–just as you are. That feature you hate most? Someone will come along and absolutely love it. It sounds crazy, but I have personally experienced this firsthand.
The bottom line? You may never be skinny. And that’s just fine. Take the best care you can of yourself. Incorporate physical activity, take care of your hair and skin, and most importantly, do things that make you happy. There is nothing more attractive than a happy person. You will light up the room and your light will be contagious and desirable. Enjoy every moment of your life!
6 THINGS I WISH I’D KNOWN AS A CHUBBY PRE-TEEN